The Connected Family Podcast
Fatherhood and The Value of Rough and Tumble Play

Fatherhood and The Value of Rough and Tumble Play

February 23, 2020

Dr. Mark Vander Ley Discusses Fatherhood, Attachment theory, and the value of rough and tumble play

on this episode Dr. Vander Ley will discuss:

1.Historical and religious motifs of fatherhood

      Moral teacher guide

      Distant breadwinner 

      New nurturant father

2. Father as a picture of Gods’ grace

3. Fathers through an attachment lens

     Mother-child attachment relationship compared to the Father-child activation relationship

     Different but complementary ways of building parent-child attachment 

      Fathers often spend more time in play than caretaking

4. The role of physical play is important 

     Challenge in the context of safety 

     Rough and tumble play

     Mutual enjoyment of physical play

     Competition skills-how to handle conflict in socially acceptable way

I LOVE YOU. I am Stronger than you 

 

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Parenting a Defiant Teen With Jimmy Myers, Ph.D., LPC-S, CSAT

Parenting a Defiant Teen With Jimmy Myers, Ph.D., LPC-S, CSAT

January 26, 2020

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Dr. Jimmy Myers discuss the second edition of Jimmy's book "Toe to Toe With Your Teen: A Guide to Successfully Parenting A Defiant Teen Without Giving Up or Giving In." Mark and Jimmy discuss the importance of maintaining a strong relationship with your teen when setting limits.  Jimmy utilizes an acronym and recommends riding the peace TRAIN for relationship building.  He tells parents to focus on Time, Reducing Negativity, Acting against stereotype, taking an Interest in the teens world, and that Not every moment is a teachable moment. Jimmy also challenges parents to parent their teens the way God has parented them.  He describes God as a parent that is loving, forgiving, accepting, holy, just and sovereign.  Mark and Jimmy then discuss the challenge that many parents face in managing their own anger in conflict with a defiant teen.  Jimmy explains why this can be so difficult and how a parent can navigate when they are triggered

Dr. Jimmy Myers is the visionary Founder, Owner, and Chief Executive Officer of The Timothy Center, located in Austin, Texas.  The Timothy Center, opened in 2001, is a unique, multi-campus counseling practice that focuses on helping adolescents and families find God’s solutions to life’s challenges.  The Timothy Center also provides secure online counseling throughout the state of Texas and consultation services nationwide.  As a full time, licensed professional counselor/supervisor, Dr. Myers has also served as Family Pastor at LifeAustin (lifeaustin.com) – and has served over 20 years on staff at two large Southern Baptist Churches.  In the many years of ministry to teens and their families, Dr. Myers’ experience has shown him that it is never too late to turn a family around.  Dr. Myers has spent more than 30 years writing, ministering, and speaking nationwide about mental health issues, sexual addiction, teenage life, and Christian family

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Interpersonal Neurobiology for Parents and Partners with Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, RPT-S

Interpersonal Neurobiology for Parents and Partners with Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, RPT-S

January 19, 2020

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, LMSW, RPT-S Discuss the basic concepts of Interpersonal Neurobiology for Parents and Partners.  Robyn offers an overview of the important concepts as well as implications in a variety of situations.  We are challenged to look beyond behaviors and understand what is happening on the inside of our family members. 

Robyn Gobbel, LCSW, LMSW, RPT-S has over 15 years of practice in family and play therapy experience, specializing in complex trauma, attachment, and adoption.  Robyn is a therapist, trainer, and consultant who recently relocated to Grand Rapids, MI from Austin, TX.  Robyn’s diverse clinical training includes EMDR (including EMDR adapted for children with attachment trauma), Somatic Experiencing, Theraplay, Trust Based Relational Intervention®, Circle of Security Parent Educator, The Alert Program® and Yogapeutics Aerial Yoga Level 1 Teacher Training.  Robyn has integrated these training modalities with a foundation of attachment theory and the relational neurosciences to create an attachment-rich, sensory-sensitive, and relational neurosciences supported healing environment for children and families.  Robyn consults, teaches, and trains extensively throughout the US, including as an instructor for the Foundations of Interpersonal Neurobiology Certificate Program at Portland Community College and with the Adoptive & Foster Family Therapy Post-Graduate Certificate Program offered by Portland State University and Oregon’s Department of Human Services.  She has recently joined the working board of the Global Association for Interpersonal Neurobiology Studies (GAINS).

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Raising The Challenging Child with Karen Doyle Buckwalter, MSW, LCSW

Raising The Challenging Child with Karen Doyle Buckwalter, MSW, LCSW

December 29, 2019

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Karen Doyle Buckwalter, MSW, LCSW discuss the new book "Raising the Challenging Child". The book harnesses Karen's 25 years of experience serving children with attachment disorders and complex trauma.  Mark and Karen discuss the tried and true strategies outlined in the book that will help parents minimize meltdowns, reduce conflict, and increase cooperation.  

Karen has more than 30 years of experience working with children, adolescents and families, the last 25 of which she has been at Chaddock. She has co-authored journal articles and book chapters as well as articles which have appeared in Adoption Today and Fostering Families Today Magazines. Her first book, Attachment Theory in Action, edited with Debbie Reed was released in 2017 and she also hosts the Attachment theory In Action podcast. Her second book co-authored with Debbie Reed and Wendy Lyons Sunshine, Raising the Challenging Child published by Baker Books, will release in January 2020.  Outside of work you will find her hiking the Blue Ridge Mountains of the Carolinas.

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Being Dad: Father as a Picture of God’s Grace with Dr. Scott Keith

Being Dad: Father as a Picture of God’s Grace with Dr. Scott Keith

May 26, 2019

Dr. Mark Vander Ley speaks with Dr. Scott Keith about his book Being Dad: Father as a Picture of God's Grace.  In this episode Dr. Keith explains the connection between the story of the prodigal son and fatherhood.  He describes fatherhood as a shadowy representation of God's grace and explains how fathers can point their children to salvation through Christ.

Dr. Scott Keith is the Executive Director of 1517 and adjunct professor of Theology at Concordia University, Irvine. He earned his doctorate from Foundation House Oxford, under the sponsorship of the Graduate Theological Foundation, studying under Dr. James A. Nestingen. Dr. Keith’s research focused on the doctrine of good works in the writings of Philip Melanchthon. He is a co-host of The Thinking Fellows podcast, contributor to 1517, Christ Hold Fast and The Jagged Word blogs, and author of Being Dad: Father as a Picture of God’s Grace. Dr. Keith resides in California with his wife, Joy and family, dividing his time between the mountains and the beach.

Find Dr. Keith at 1517.org

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Building Connection with Your Spouse

Building Connection with Your Spouse

May 21, 2019

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW discuss the topic of "Building Connection with Your Spouse".  Listeners will get an introduction to the work of renowned couples therapist Susan Johnson and an introduction to attachment patterns in the marriage relationships.  Mark and Michelle discuss the patterns or "dance" that often develops between couples and how to recognize these patterns.  They also discuss ways to handle conflict that draws you closer to your spouse as opposed to creating more distance.  

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Domestic Spiritual Abuse: The use of the Bible to Oppress Women with Sarah Elmore, MA, LPC

Domestic Spiritual Abuse: The use of the Bible to Oppress Women with Sarah Elmore, MA, LPC

May 6, 2019

Domestic Spiritual Abuse (DSA) is the use of the Bible, its principles, or institutions to justify the mistreatment of another.  Sarah Elmore, MA, LPC shares her personal experience with DSA as well as the lessons she has learned serving as a professional counselor to those who have experienced it.  Sarah and Mark discuss how the misinterpretation of Scripture may lead to abuse and Sarah describes how DSA may be perpetuated in certain religious contexts.  Sarah explains how difficult it can be to escape the abuse and gives suggestions on how to help those who may be in an abusive situation.

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How to Talk to your Kids about Sex with Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW

How to Talk to your Kids about Sex with Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW

April 29, 2019

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW discuss the importance of talking about sex and sexuality with your children.  Mark and Michelle cover the value of talking about sex early and regularly with your children, as well as the drawbacks of avoiding the conversation.  The conversation uses personal and professional experience to help parents overcome the sometimes awkward and difficult roadblocks to discussing these difficult topics.

 

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What to do when your BUTTONS get pushed?

What to do when your BUTTONS get pushed?

April 22, 2019

Join Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW for a discussion about "what to do when your buttons get pushed.  All parents have blown their top, gotten angry, yelled, or lost their cool.  Mark and Michelle discuss why this happens, how to avoid it, what to do when it inevitably occurs.  They share personal stories of loosing their cool and how they have learned to manage when their buttons are pushed.  In this episode you will hear:

1. Why we lose control when our buttons get pushed

2. How to avoid losing control

3.  What to do when we lose control

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Connecting Through Play with Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW

Connecting Through Play with Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW

April 14, 2019

Dr. Mark Vander Ley and Michelle Robison, MSW, LCSW discuss "connecting through play" 

Michelle is the executive director of a long term care facility located in Southern California.  Michelle has pioneered the use of attachment theory and its associated techniques and approaches in her work with children and elderly adults. Mark and Michelle engage in "adventures in overthinking it" as they discuss how to use play and playfulness to connect with young children, adolescents and spouses.  Topics discussed in this episode include

1. Play as a way to "join the world" of your young child.

2. The importance of "leaving room for play" in a culture that is busy and over-scheduled.

3. The use of language and humor to playfully connect with your adolescent or spouse.

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